Itching.

It was 00:55. The first day of December / 2011. Will I remember this day? How? Will it be a good day or won't ?

31 days for the last month of the year. Too many... to few...
What's gonna be? What I gonna do?

Today I was thinking... remembering how much and how many times my life changed in aspects I consider to be very important.
How much I "grew up" and how much more I have to.
I made many important decisions that are and will affect my life forever.

Regrets? I have, many. But I think this year was the first year of my life that I started to make the right decisions that will lead me to what I want.

Something is itching. And, everytime it itches I "scratch" that. Maybe it is an non-healed wound, maybe its just a bug under my skin... but, I scratch it everytime wishing my skin goes down and scales replenish it. Yes, scales, they are stronger and I wish to be strong.
They are ugly? Maybe, for the weak... but, in the weakest vision every strong person is ugly. They can't follow them... they ENVY them.
I know I already learnt much and some scales are already there, just waiting the time I scratch my skin on the "sureness" it is the right thing to do. And many more to come... many more.

This is aging. To be wiser. To don't make the same mistakes you did before for the same ridiculous reasons you did.

I like to think I'm evolving, everyday, in someone better, wiser, stronger... people think it prevents you to feel... no, it doesn't. It just make you better at deciding what you have to feel and for whom you have to feel.

Problem is, everynight for the last days make me remember things I don't like. Ppl I don't like. Facts I don't like. Actions, decisions, phrases... I REALLY don't like.
I was lost, drifiting... with them. Being sad.
Just now, writing, I came to realize that I don't have to be... I have to scratch thos itches and make them something good, something that will make me stronger.

Something that will make me immune to the same itches. :)